


I'm staring at the second chance they forgot about

by mm8



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Aftercare, Alpha Armitage Hux, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Arguing, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Barebacking, Bottom Kylo Ren, Breeding Kink, Coming In Pants, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, Emotional Constipation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Epistolary, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family, First Time, Frottage, Gentle Sex, Getting Together, Heat Sex, However I Did Borrow Like Two Things From TLJ, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm so tired, Identity Reveal, Implied Mpreg, Insecurity, Insomnia, Kink Negotiation, Knotting, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Omega Kylo Ren, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Rough Sex, Seriously I haven't slept in days, Slow Burn, Slow Sex, Top Armitage Hux, Trust Issues, Wall Sex, What's sleep again?, everyone is a mess, it's been 84 years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 02:33:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13448679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm8/pseuds/mm8
Summary: This was beyond anything Hux could fix.OrIn which Hux and Kylo Ren try their best to sort out their feelings and get their shit together.





	I'm staring at the second chance they forgot about

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BiffElderberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiffElderberry/gifts).



> Fearful_Captain_Biff Elderberry, I hope you like this. Many thanks to the mods for running this (and for putting up with my mess). Thanks to j_okay on Livejournal for helping me work on Hux. Finally thank fuck for all of the Kylux playlists on Spotifiy that helped keep me motivated. & thank fuck for Rhianna's song 'Skin'. 
> 
> Huge apology if the formatting looks weird at times. Google Docs, AO3 and me are having an issue on that front.

The elevator ride down to the living quarters felt like it lasted for hours, not mere minutes. Hux stood   center of the car with perfect posture, his hands clasped behind his back in the center of the car. There was no question that Hux was militant.

 

What he really wanted to do was lean against the wall as he dry heaving looking just as vulnerable and afraid as he felt inside. But Hux had to hold that back. His position in the First Order didn't allow him the luxury of relaxing, not even for a second. 

 

He breathed in through his nose, and slowly let the air expel from his mouth. It was supposed to be calming. Bre had taught him the technique when he was having the first of many panic attacks he'd suffered as a child. She said it would help. Deep, deep,  _ deep _ breaths she told him. Long inhale, and an even longer exhale. 

 

Hux did that five more times before the doors slid open. He stepped out on the exhale. 

 

He'd taken the elevator to the floor designated for the top officers. No one could step inside the elevator without the correct number combination, and the combination changed every few hours.

 

The decor to the floor was neat, clean, minimal. It seemed like it was designed to be more practical than ornate like the floor for dignitaries to stay, but not as bare like where the soldiers slept. 

 

This level was reserved for officers only. Ren lived on this floor too. He wasn't part of the First Order officially. All the documentations listed him as an  _ independent contractor _ . It infuriated Hux that Ren was so high in position as he was. The Force user was practically his equal in rank. Ren had to do  _ nothing _ for his rank. All he did was be discovered by the Supreme Leader who gave him power. Yet, it was never enough. Ren acted like a child when things didn't go the way he pictured it. His anger preceded him. Everyone knew when Ren had arrived. He stomped about with heavy footsteps, loud frustrated sighs and groans echoing off the walls. The hiss of a door opening and closing behind the Knight always made Hux feel more at ease. 

 

Lucky for Hux there was presently no one else entering or exiting the floor. No one that would stop him and  _ chit-chat _ or try to suck up to him in hopes of an eventual promotion. That was one thing that Hux envied of Kylo Ren. Everyone knew to stay out of his way. 

 

He paused outside his door, pressing the correct password without paying attention. He'd memorized the placement of each key years ago. Hux took off his gloves, and used the fingerprint reader as a second authorization. There was a series of three quick beeps, and the hydraulic door opened with a squeak that made him clench his teeth. He'd put in the maintenance request over a month ago when he visited the Supremacy  last. It was utterly ridiculous that it hadn't been fixed. He'd have to go look through the ship's roster on his data pad to see who he had to complain to.

 

After he was inside and the door shut behind him, Hux rested his forehead against the cool metal wall. The last forty-eight hours had been complete shit. Going on a wild goose chase to find the map that would lead to Skywalker, only to lose it because Ren thought a scavenger girl's memory would suffice, only for her to escape. Then his Starkiller had been destroyed because of the all things, the  _ Resistance _ .

 

Damnit. Starkiller was  _ his _ . Hux was the one who'd thought of the weapon, planned it, proposed it to Snoke who was more than pleased to make the plan a reality.  He'd overseen the project everyday for the last five years, spent days without sleeping... only to lose it because of Ren's stupidity.

 

If there had been anything positive to come of it, and Hux scoffed at that very notion, it was that Han Solo was dead. Stabbed through the heart with Ren's lightsaber, if the rumors were true. Personally, Hux didn't care. Solo hadn't been involved in the Resistance in several years, reportedly leaving after the disappearance of his only son. Yes, Hux hated anyone who went against the First Order, but getting rid of Solo wasn't on the top of his list. However Snoke seemed practically giddy of the smuggler's demise. 

 

" _ At least Kylo Ren did not fail me _ ."

 

The only reason Hux could fathom why the Supreme Leader was pleased was that Solo had been married to General Organa, and that his death would weaken her morale, leading to perhaps a drop in morale in the Resistance, and indirectly weakening them. It was along the same lines why Hux had  to wear a mask whenever he was outside his room. Hux could not afford to be weak.

 

Now that Hux thought about it, he hadn't seen Ren since some of the crewmen dragged Ren's unconscious body from the woods, and hulled him into the shuttle heading away from the planet and towards the Supremacy. Hux had been so preoccupied with starting to assess the damage that he had completely lost track of the man. 

 

Ren always seemed to cause trouble...

 

Something slinked around his legs, making a figure eight, and nuzzling the toe caps of his boots. There was a loud  _ thump _ of the something falling to the ground at his feet, followed by a short questioning  _ meow _ .

 

A bright smile crossed Hux's face and he visibly relaxed. "There's my girl," he cooed. "There's my girl." At his feet was his beloved Millicent. She was laying on her side and gazing up at him with full expectant eyes. Hux bent over, scooped Millie with his right hand under her chest, letting her legs dangle for a moment before he settled her into his arms. Hux kissed the top of her head, the fluffy orange fur tickling his nose. He stroked Millie's broad chest with his thumb. She began a deep rumble-- Hux could feel the comforting vibrations against his hand. "Yeah I missed you too," he said, kissing the top of her tiny head once more.

 

Hux walked around the apartment, slowly bouncing Millie. "Did you behave for the Nanny droid? I bet you were a good girl." He hated how he reverted his speech as if he were talking to a toddler-- sweet, high-pitched, and condescending.

 

He stopped in front of the multi-panel floor to ceiling window and stared off into the darkness. Years ago, when he was young, Hux would have found the vastness of space exciting, mind-boggling, and full of possibilities to escape. The novelty worn off long past. Life hit him hard and the limitlessness of the Galaxy strunk very fast. Space was a bleak scene that made him feel more alone than ever. 

 

The droid who had looked after Millie must have opened the blinds while he was away. Hux would have to remind the droids he let them in his apartment to keep them closed. (He wanted to think of this place as a home especially since he'd resided there for several years, but he couldn't. The word never formed in his mouth.)

 

Hux was glad he'd left Millie on the Supremacy, and not taken her to the Starkiller Base or on the Finalizer as he had originally planned. He'd had an odd premantion, he supposed, even if things like visions were a load of hogwash. Nevertheless it had worked out in the end.

 

Hux pressed the button to close the blinds, and set the shades to soothing neutrals. He continued to ramble nonsense to his cat as he crossed into his bedroom, the lights automatically switching on to day mode. He gently placed Millie onto his bed, front paws first. When she landed Mille turned her head to look back at him and  _ meowed _ , long and so pathetic. Hux chuckled, petting her from the top of her head to the tip of her tail. In turn, Millie reached up to nuzzle his fingers. "Missed you too. We'll snuggle in a moment, Millie," he spoke fondly. "I think we both need it right about now."

 

Hux shucked off his long coat, draping it over his dresser and set his leather gloves on top. One of his many data pads laid on the edge of the dresser, threatening to tip over with the slightest jostle. His eyes flickered to the looping photographs in the photo frame propped up against the wall. Three pictures of Millicent (as a young kitten, sleeping on his notes for the Starkiller base, the last one with her laying in Hux's lap looking up at the camera), a scan of one of his many degrees (the one his father had been proud of for all of two seconds), two of all of his siblings, then the photos looped back around. He hadn't seen his younger brother and two sisters in person for three years. Face to face calls and holos were never the same.

 

Hux was about to start undoing the clasps of his boots when the light tweeting of birds went off. It was his notification of a message from his data pad. It was an idiotic sound but he'd kept it because everytime it went off Millie would perk up. He swiped his password on the screen and was greeted with a slew of messages that would need to be answered soon. However the most recent message popped up front and center after Hux pressed the mail icon.

 

**Incoming Message**

General Hux, There has been a disturbance on floor 34C in section 108 Red. We believe it is a Code Cholor. Attempts have been made to end the alert, but have not succeeded. How do you wish to proceed?

 

Hux sighed. It seemed his reunion with Ren would happen sooner than he'd expected. Code Cholor was short for 'Ren is having another temper tantrum and is destroying everything in his path'. Not even back for half a day and already Ren was was acting up. He quickly typed on his data pad,

 

**Outgoing Message**

Message received. I shall take care of the problem.

 

Hux heaved a sigh, went back to the bed and rubbed under his cat's chin. "I'll be back, Millie. I'll be back. Promise." He grabbed his data pad and left.

 

Hux was fortunate enough that the halls were still empty. As he drew closer to the reported area he heard the telltale signs of Ren's presence-- the distinct buzz and crackle of his lightsaber along with the screech of electronics and metal being torn apart and clattering to the ground. It wasn't hard to find the room at all. Surprisingly by the time he got there the height of the rampage was already over. 

 

Hux stood on the edge of the entrance, hovering above the final step to walk inside. Kylo Ren leaned against one of the destroyed consoles, its wiring exposed with sparks popping. Ren had deactivated his sword, but he still gripped it tightly across his thighs. The helmet was made to modify Ren's voice, and it seemed to change Ren's heavy breathing and gasps of air to be more like choking. Hux stood there, just observing Ren. How his back sloped and how his shoulders were tight. How his feet were shoulder width apart, but Ren was relying a little too much on the console to stand.

 

"Are you quite done?" Hux's words curled on his tongue and sounded more snobbish than he indented. Not that he minded at all. 

 

Ren whipped his head around and stared at him, or at least Hux thought the Force user was. It was more than likely, but with the helmet on Hux could never tell. Ren said nothing, which was very unlike him. He kept breathing heavily, his whole body tensing with every exhale. Hux was about to open his mouth when Ren let out a prolonged groan. Hux readied a sarcastic comment, but it died in his throat and he felt himself surging forward as Ren lost his balance and fell to the ground.

 

"I didn't mean you could die when you're done having a tantrum!" Hux knelt down beside the man. Nothing appeared to be wrong. Hux had barely pressed his fingertips to the ground to regain his own balance, and  when he lifted his hand back up, dark red blood was smeared across the tips, the liquid seeming to bring out the swirls of his print. Hux's eyes darted about, then he twisted his lower body so he could properly see what had been underneath.

 

Blood. Ren's own blood. There were droplets smattered on the floor where the Force user had been standing only a moment before. Now the blood seemed to be oozing out. He patted along the side of Ren's pants until he felt where it was wet, and Hux's whole palm came back red when he lifted it away. 

 

Hux frantically searched Ren's helmet for the switch or button that needed to be activated to open the damn thing. No wonder Ren sounded as though he was gasping for his life. "Take off the helmet, you idiot!" he scolded.

 

Suddenly his hands stilled in mid-air, his wrists met, then his arms were raised above his head. He watched as Ren's right hand, shaking, snaked up to the side of the helmet. Hux missed when exactly the Knight did, but almost instantaneously the hydraulics hissed, the front plate elegantly lifted out and up, but nothing else happened. Hux was going to help take it off, but he couldn't move his hands or arms. He was about to say something when Ren  _ finally _ lifted his head off the ground, taking the helmet off. Ren let the helmet roll on its side next to him. With the helmet's weight it seemed to sink as it fell. It wasn't until then that Hux could be mobile.

 

Ren was… ragged to say the least. Sweat was pouring down his skin. His eyes were glassy and glazed over. The thing that could not be ignored and stuck out was the dark line running across Ren's face. It was thinner above his right eyebrow, resumed on the cheek bone of his right eye, where it was at its thickest, and continued down to his neck in a smooth diagonal line . It was miraculous that whatever caused the wound missed his eye completely. Ren's breathing was uneven, and then on all of it was that Ren was bleeding out.

 

This was beyond anything Hux could fix.

 

He pressed the communicator on his breast to request a few medi-droids to be sent immediately. The droids were there within a couple minutes, and took away Ren on a stretcher.

 

That night he had to wash Ren's blood off his skin. 

 

All Hux could think about was that Ren's blood seemed to make the impassible man seem more human.

 

* * *

 

The galaxy was a quiet place after the Hosnian system was obliterated. No fighting, no word from the New Republic Senate, no disturbances due to the Resistance. Simply nice and quiet. 

 

Quiet bothered hux. Quiet was one more thing that kept him up at night.

 

* * *

 

The next time he saw Ren it was in passing. Hux was leaving Snoke's throne room (for being blamed  _ again _ for the base), walking down the long strip as Ren strode in the opposite direction, limping slightly. Ren still had his helmet on, so Hux wasn't sure if the Knight saw his look that said, 'Your turn. Have fun..

 

The day had been spent metaphorically running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Outwardly Hux hoped he was the air of calm, but inwardly he wanted to tear his hair out and bang heads against walls because people were so stupid and couldn't understand a simple task. 

 

When he had two seconds to breathe, he made his way down to the hanger so he could see the inventory and repairs that were being done on some of the Walkers. Hux had planned to use the elevator to go straight to the first level so he could speak to the department head. He'd opted to take the back stairs even though it took expeditiously longer. He told himself that he was doing it for the exercise.  He was about halfway there, standing in-between flights and debating if he should take the elevator down at this point, when Hux spotted him. 

 

Ren was on the deck standing close to the glass, but not quite. His hands were clasped in front of him and he stood very still. He wasn't wearing his cowl which was odd as it was, but also Hux could see the profile of Ren's face, illuminated with the sparks from the welders on the other side of the glass

 

"You're not wearing your helmet," Hux stated as he strolled up and stood a few feet away from the Knight, copying his stance almost exactly.

 

" _ Obviously _ ."

 

Hux wanted to ask why. Why after all of these years was he going around parading with his mask off? Hux had known Ren for a decade. He'd seen Ren without the helmet less than a handful of times. Everytime it seemed that Ren was embarrassed whenever Hux did catch him without the helmet. Maybe Ren was so used to the helmet being his face, that he'd forgotten how to act without it.

 

Hux had been aware that Ren was an Omega. It never bothered him. Was it surprising that an Omega had reached so far up the ranks, and was rumored to be more powerful than Darth Vader? Yes, of course it was. But on the base level, it didn't matter. Alphas, Betas, and yes even Omegas were equal. Hux wasn't like his father who thought Omegas were only good for bearing children, and believed that Betas were second class next to Alphas.

 

All of those years ago when he first met Kylo Ren Hux had been told that A) He was a powerful Force user who also went by the moniker  _ Jedi Killer _ , 2) He was an Omega, and C) He wore special clothing (including his helmet) that filtered out his natural Omega scent. 

 

Then why would Ren subjugate himself to...

 

"It's our Supreme Leader's command," Ren voiced with disgust, as if he were answering the question Hux had posed to himself. "He knows, and doesn't care. He says it's part of my training to overcome my gender. It'll make me stronger to rise up against my natural instinct."

 

"Get of my head, Ren."

 

"Stop thinking so loud." Ren clenched his teeth as he spoke. "Are you being called back to the Finalizer as well?"

 

"Yes, but on a tighter leash. You?"

 

"Same, but without…" Hux looked sidelong to see Ren move a hand and gesture it to his upper body. 

 

Hux hummed. He watched below as one of the engineers came up behind one of the welders, squeezing his shoulder. The welder turned off his equipment and lifted up his protective headgear and speak. Hux wondered what would have happened if the welder had been startled, hitting the other engineer in his face with the fire. That would be quite the sight to see.

 

"Did the scavenger do that to your face?" he asked. Hux waited several moments for an answer of some kind. He was getting irritated. There they both stood, almost side by side. Ren had to have heard him ask. Hux spoke clear, annunciating each syaballe. They stood in an uncomfortable silence. He lightly tapped his foot to hint that he was still waiting.

 

Finally, Ren nodded.  _ Nodded _ . A verbal reply would have been nice.

 

"How?"

 

Ren's arms fell to his side and balled up his fists. "She used Darth Vader's lightsaber against me."

 

"That must be--"

 

"Don't say it," Ren lashed out. "I've heard enough of it already from the Supreme Leader." 

 

"Why did Solo have to die? Was it Snoke's orders?"

 

Ren was silent, looking off in the distance to the work being done. After some time Hux thought he'd have ask again. It was getting ridiculous at this point. Then Ren stared down at the ground and shook his head. "No, it wasn't on his orders."

 

"Why then? Was it strategic?"

 

"Because it seemed right at the time."

 

"Hm." Hux ran his tongue along his teeth. He debated about asking. He might have gone too far already with the questions. "Who hurt you? Your side wound I mean. The one you almost bled out on the floor because you were too stupid to stay at the medi-bay. Was it the girl as well?"

 

Ren shook his head once more. "The Wookiee."

 

" _ The Wookiee _ ," Hux repeated. "That hairy beast?" Hux let out a barking laugh that echoed around the small deck. "Well, you did murder its best friend. Had it coming didn't you?"

 

Hux wasn't completely sure, but he thought he heard Ren whisper, "Yes, yes I did."

 

The two stood in companionable silence. Except Hux couldn't call in companonable when they weren't even friends.

 

They stayed there, just the two of them, watching as the engineers worked. Hux wondered if they were both melancholy for the same reason. They had severally displeased the Supreme Leader, and were both being punished, but in different ways.

 

Losing the helmet meant that  _ everyone _ was going to know about his second gender. The second he'd hit his heat they'd be able to scent him out. In an organization that was heavily dominated by Alphas, it could mean trouble. 

 

Ren was pressed to expose his face for the first time in at least a decade. He'd be unable to hide his feelings from the world. Anyone who cared to look beyond Ren's destructive behavior could see that he was a man who wore his heart on his sleeve. 

 

Caring didn't help in war. It only hindered victory.  

 

For that moment, Hux felt like he wasn't alone in this.

 

Hux felt the need to break the silence and cleared his throat. "Well I suppose we  _ could _ send the widowed General some flowers or a card. After all her family is gone. Her brother is a coward. Her husband is dead. Her son is missing--"

 

"He's not missing."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

Ren turned to Hux, in effect acknowledging he was even there to begin with. It was still difficult to see the Force user's face, over half of it was encased in shadow. Hux could see the jagged scar that ran down all of Ren's face. It made Ren appear older than his twenty-nine years. He had a set frown, but it was more than that. It wasn't a look of frustration or of irritation. It was… Hux wanted to say that Ren was sad. 

 

"Ben Solo isn't missing because  _ I killed him _ ."

 

Before Hux could request more details, Ren fled the deck, practically running down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

When Hux jumped onto the shuttle to the Finalizer. He'd made the conductor hold it until he was aboard. He'd nearly missed it because a Brigadier held him up. 

 

Here he was. Kylo Ren. The Jedi Killer. The Leader of the Knights of Ren. Snoke's protegee. 

 

Kylo Ren was holding his cat. 

 

Hux stood there transfixed on the sight before him. Millicent was resting in Ren's lap. Hux could hear her purr from where he was standing. Ren was scratching behind her ears. Both of them appeared to be incredibly comfortable. 

 

"She hates strangers."

 

Ren's head shot up and gawked. He acted like he hadn't noticed Hux's entrance. "She's yours?"

 

"Whose else would it be?"

 

"She could belong to one of pilots or the conductor. She was wandering around the cabin when I found her." 

 

Hux eyed to the cat carrier on the floor beside Ren's boots. The door happened to be open.

 

"What's her name?" Ren inquired. How the hell did he sound so sweet tempered?

 

"Millicent."

 

"It's a bit old-fashioned, but it suits her." 

 

Hux felt like Millicent had betrayed him. He glared his cat, but knew it was childish and had no effect. "She  _ hates _ strangers," he repeated with more emphasis.  

 

"Oh? She came right up to me when I got in. She wouldn't stop meowing until I picked her up. Cats like me for some reason. Always have. I never had one of my own. I wasn't allowed to have pets. Probably for the best."

 

(Later on Hux would realize that in that moment Ren had been more open about his past than he'd ever said in the past ten years.)

 

The door to the platform slid closed. A few moments later the shuttle jerked, and they were off.

 

Hux decided to bring up something that had been on his mind for the last few days. "What did you mean back at the hanger? That you killed Leia Organa's son?"

 

"I don't think there's anything else to say."

 

They kept to themselves for the rest of the journey. Hux pulled out his personal data pad and sent a lengthy message to his younger sister, Brehanna. She was preparing to take an entrance exam for a prestigious art school. Hanna had a natural talent for painting and sculpting. Hux was more than happy to support Hanna in any way possible. His sister had asked him for his feedback on a few art pieces she was picking to put in her portfolio. The last few days had been insane and this was the first time he had a spare moment to write something out.

 

Every once in a while Hux would glance over to check on Millicent. His cat was peacefully sleeping in Ren's lap, paws and the tip of her tail were tucked under her chin. It was just to check on her. He wasn't leering at Kylo. Hux could admit to himself that Ren was appealing, and had thought so for a long time.

 

Whenever Hux stole a glance, he was pretty sure that Ren turned away, like he'd been looking too.

 

* * *

 

Hux was almost done his scheduled shift when the incoming call icon fluttering about the screen of his personal data pad to grab his attention. He was going to swipe down to dismiss it since he was so close to being finished with all of the paperwork, and all he wanted right now was to go to his suite, drink some wine, cuddle with Millicent, read a half-decent book and try to fall asleep. His finger was on the screen ready to not pick up when he noticed the icon for the caller was his Bren. He swiped up.

 

"Tage!" Bren yelled before Hux could say anything. Brennan's face filled the screen at first, then the camera backed away to reveal his brother laying on his stomach, legs bent at the knees and swinging back and forth. By the background with the posters of various actors and actresses from the action holos, and one or two unique pieces of art Hux could tell that his only brother was in room back at their home on Arkanis. Bren waved enthusiastically.

 

"Hello to you as well," he chuckled as he stood up, walked around the desk and slid the door to the office shut for privacy. "What's going on? Isn't it after one o'clock in the morning where you are?" Hux guessed. "Why are you still awake?"

 

Bren did an exaggerated shrug. "Can't sleep. New meds. They're supposed to make me sleepy, but I just started them. Doctor said it'd take a few days to kick in. No biggie. I figured you'd be up so why not call?"

 

"Does Bre know you're up?"

 

Bren put a finger to his lips. "Shh, she's asleep. I don't want to get caught."

 

"Did you try counting sheep or reading a book to go to bed?"

 

"No, do you?"

 

Hux rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Just cause  _ I _ don't do something, doesn't mean  _ you  _ have to do it."

 

"That logic is beyond flawed."

 

For a ten year old Bren could be such a little shit.

 

"Can I see Mills?"

 

"I'm in my office." Hux moved his tablet around the room to prove it. "Millicent stays in my rooms."

 

Bren pouted."Oh." Just like that his was smile back. "Are you going to be back for my birthday?" 

 

Hux offered a fake smile. "I can't, Brennan. We're so many parsecs away, and we've had some trouble recently that needs attention. I can't come."

 

_ Like your last birthday, and the one before that, and the one before that. _

 

"Oh." Brennan was visibly upset and became quiet all of a sudden. It was unlike his brother not to talk. Bren was always extremely animated and cheerful. "Tage, can I ask you a question?" Not waiting for an answer his brother continued, "Is it true what they're saying in school?"

 

Hux furrowed his brow. "You'll have to be more specific. That's quite a broad--"   
  


"Did the First Order blow up Hosnian Prime?"

 

Silence.

 

Just… silence.

 

"It's true isn't it?"

 

"Yes." Hux didn't want to lie to his brother. Not about this.

 

Bren looked away from the camera screwing up his face, and whined. "Was it you? Were you the one responsible?"

 

Hux audibly gulped. He replied with shaky "Yes."

 

"Are you who they say you are? Are you a monster?"

 

Hux didn't say a word. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that?

 

_ Yes Bren, I am a monster who can't be fixed. Your brother is a monster who ordered the death of millions and had no regrets. _

 

"Armitage? Please… please say you're not  _ that _ …" Bren sniffled, leaned forward and ran his finger on the screen.

 

**Call Ended**

 

Hux slumped in his chair and buried his head in his hands. That could have gone so much better… Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  _ Fuck _ . He wasn't mad at Brennan, he wasn't mad at himself, and he wasn't having remorse for ordering the eradication of Hosnian Prime. It had been a calculated decision to make a point to the galaxy that the First Order was not to be tampered with.

 

"Who was that?"

 

Hux jumped out of his skin. An awful mouse like squeak came out of his mouth the second Ren spoke. He stared at the Force user who was inside the room, standing with his arms crossed over his chest, quizzical was written all over his face.

 

"How did you get in here?" 

 

Ren raised an eyebrow and cocked his head back to the opened door. "It wasn't locked."

 

"I closed it for a reason. I wanted to be alone."

 

"There wasn't anything that said  _ not _ to open it."

 

"Closed doors typically mean someone doesn't want you in there," Hux groaned in frustration. Did Ren really lack common courtesy? "Now you know."

 

"Who were you talking to then?"

 

"It's none of your damn business!" Hux countered. He walked around his desk to stand in front of Ren. "You came into my office uninvited, and demand answers to questions you have no right to ask?!"

 

Ren stared down at him, towering over and looming. They were only an inch apart in height, but sometimes Ren made the inch feel like several feet. Ren's dark eyes raked over Hux. They darted around analyzing every detail. "You were upset. So were they. Whoever it was seemed important to you. Who are they?"

 

Hux felt flushed as Ren kept observing him so intensely. He couldn't help but to stare right back.

 

Ren's eyes were bold, wild, yet somehow guarded. His eyes seemed to stare right through Hux, right down to his very core.

 

He felt like it was only the two of them in the entire world and that nothing else mattered.

 

Hux shivered, but didn't dare lose eye contact. This was different. This was intimate. This was...

 

Ren's eyes widened as he licked his lips.

 

Suddenly Hux was more than aware of few inches separated them...

 

Shit. Shit. Shit.  _ Shit _ .

 

Hux blinked rapidly and tried to think of something else. Anything that wasn't that he could possibly be attracted to Ren.

 

His brother. They'd been talking about Brennan and Ren wanted an answer.

 

Why not tell Ren? Why not tell him he was speaking to Brennan? Most likely he'd already read his mind using his Jedi tricks. He probably wanted some sort of verbal confrontation to draw things out.

 

"Fine, if you want to know so badly it was my brother. Happy?"

 

"Interesting." Ren lingered on the word, stretching it out as long as possible.  "Why was he crying?"

 

Hux backed up to the desk. He needed to have a distance between them or else he could do something stupid. He took a deep breath before he spoke. "My brother is the youngest. We're over two decades apart. He… He doesn't get things yet. He doesn't see the big picture, only seeing what lies before him in the moment. I can infer that the other kids at his school are talking about Hosnian Prime. They might be treating him differently because of it. I dunno." Why was he telling this to Ren? They were rivals. They hated each other. Why the hell was he opening up to a man whose life he knew nothing about?

 

"You have siblings."

 

"Three. Two sisters and one brother. Technically we're half-siblings not that it matters."

 

"Same father?"

 

It was common knowledge that Commandant Bendrol Hux had fathered a bastard, and that the child was now the General of the entire First Order. Hux had been constantly bullied for this as a child, even when he was young as four. Not that the other four year olds understood what a illegitimate child was. It didn't stop them. Someone different was an easy target.

 

Hux admitted, "Yes. Same father, different mother. Do you have siblings?" 

 

"I don't have a family. Not anymore." Ren said it like it was a simple fact of life. There wasn't any emotion behind it. It was a statement. 

 

"Sorry."

 

"Don't be. They didn't like me much in the end. Everyone leaves. Always."

 

The air turned tense in an instant. Awkward between two people who hadn't wanted to say as much as they did. 

 

How did they get here? Hux felt like they should loop back to how this conversation started. 

 

"Why did you come to my office in the first place? "

 

Ren shifted from foot to foot and not making eye contact. "I  _ might _ have destroyed half of the rec room on 65H."

 

" _ Might _ have?"

 

" _ Might _ … All of the arcade games happen be in pieces…"

 

Hux grasped his data pad, and ordered a clean up crew. He could order new games later after doing some research on what was popular these days. "Anything else?" There was always something else.

 

"I  _ might _ have broken a few arms. And legs. And ribs. And severed some fingers… I thought I'd let you know in person."

 

"Damnit, Ren this is entirely unacceptable behav--" When he looked back up, Ren was gone.

 

The next day Hux received several messages from his older sister, Breana. All of them said the same thing.

 

**Incoming Message**

What the fuck did you do?

 

**Outgoing Message**

Be myself.

  
  


* * *

 

"I don't need you to protect me."

 

"I know you don't."

 

"Then why the hell are you acting like it?"

 

Hux was matching Ren step by step. The Knight was barrelling through the ship's halls. A man on a mission. The majority of the crew who happened to be in Ren's path soon pancaked themselves to the wall, giving him all the room he needed. It was still fresh to the crew to see Ren sans his iconic helmet. Quite a few gaped as he passed by, which did not help calm Ren's foul mood or demeanor. 

 

Ren whirled on him, stopping mid-step. "I didn't need help before, and I don't need help now." Ren angrily twisted his face and gnarled. In a split second, an Alpha standing a few feet away was hurtled across the hall and slammed into the ground with great power. 

 

Hux reached out to catch Ren's wrist. "What is the meaning of this?!"

 

"He was entertaining the idea of forcibly bonding with me during my next heat.  _ In detail _ ." Ren threw off Hux's hand and kept going. 

 

Hux barked out orders to have the ensign locked up in the brig. He caught up with Ren just as he was entering the gym. It didn't surprise him that a group fled out the door moments later.

 

Ren was already doing his routine. He was moving slowly, elegant motions that seemed like he was not just cutting the air, but controlling it. Maybe it was a Force thing? 

 

Ren's boots had been kicked off to the side, and his shirt had been discarded as well. He was left only dressed in a tight pair of pants that showed off his calves. 

 

Hux couldn't help but stare at Ren's chest. He knew that the Knight had to have muscles. It'd be stupid to think that he didn't. Ren worked out every day and had seen combat. Hux hadn't expected for a broad chest with defined abs, and  _ holy shit _ he had the line from his hip to his groin.

 

Hux found himself staring a little bit too long. He blushed with embarrassment.  Looking down, rushed to where Ren's clothing lay against the nearest wall. He leaned against the padded mat, his left knee crossing his right. He destracted himself from staring at Ren by pulling out his data pad. He worked on canceling and scheduling appointments for the next week, as well as writing up a formal report about the Alpha Ren had attacked.

 

"Why are you here?" Ren asked out of nowhere. He didn't pause his odd Force exercise to speak. "You've been following me like a lost puppy for days. 

 

"We've known each other for what? Ten years? I don't know a damn thing about you."

 

"Never seemed to stop us before."

 

"Maybe it's time to try."

 

"You're giving a shit about me for what? Pity? Because an untrained scavenger bested me? Because I'm  _ vulnerable Omega _ who needs to be saved by a prince? As a sick way to get close to me to use anything you learn to turn the Supreme Leader against me? Keep your friends close and enemies closer?"

 

"I don't pity you, Ren. You have remarkable strength that rivals the strongest Alphas. I saw your pain. You've seen inside my head, you know mine."

 

Ren flinched, but didn't answer him. 

 

"It's... _ nice _ to befriend others like yourself." Hux waited a beat. "Plus my cat likes you. She's a good judge of character."

 

Hux wasn't one-hundred percent sure, but he thought he saw a half-smile cross Ren's face.

 

The door to the gym opened and shut quickly like someone had poked their head in and backed out when they saw them.

 

"I don't have friends. Everyone is too terrified of me."

 

"Well," Hux shrugged. "I guess you have me."

 

Hux wasn't sure why or when, but after that he referred to Ren as Kylo in private. Kylo never corrected him on it either.

 

* * *

 

Every morning Hux and Phasma ate breakfast in his office to go over various reports and issues for their military. Hux trusted Phasma. She was one of the few people in the First Order he trusted completely. They had a history, and it only made their friendship grow stronger. He knew she was honest and blunt, but knew how to be cunning and cutthroat when the time came.

 

"You've been hanging around Kylo Ren lately," Phasma brought up unexpectedly during the middle of their conversation about the status of the FN troops.

 

Hux put down his cutlery and dabbed his mouth with his napkin. "Have I? I would hope so I have to work closely with him."

 

"Hux, someone would have to be completely blind not to notice." She set her own silverware down and pushed her plate away. "What's going on? Last time I checked you despised him. You have for the ten years. I've seen you look at him like he was a piece of dog shit stuck to the bottom of your boot."

 

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Hux said knowing exactly what she was talking about. "Ren and I have had our disagreements in the past, of course. However we have matured and are moving forward to strengthen the First Order."

 

"C'mon Hux, don't do that to me. Don't give me political bullshit like you do everyone else. I'm better than that." She paused waiting for him to counter. When he didn't, Phasma continued, "You've been seen together outside of work. A few of my men informed me that you were speaking to him at length at the gym, and that you stayed there while he went through his exercises." She leaned forward. "You hate exercising. I had to forcibly drag you to a gym in the past. My men told me that you two looked quite comfortable."

 

"Hearsay, Phasma. Pure hearsay."

 

"I trust my men. There's no reason to lie over this. Why aren't you telling me the truth?"

 

"So what if I have been spending more time with Ren outside of working hours? Is there something wrong with that?"

 

"There's nothing wrong with that at all. I…" Phasma closed her eyes and sighed. "It's not that I don't trust him. I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't know if you realize, but he's--"

 

"I have to say, Phasma, that I am rather intrigued that you decided to bring up this topic when Kylo Ren happens to be away on mission. Now, I'm trying to get an idea on how much training each troop needs to learn and can fully use the newly designed blasters. How long do you think yours will need?"

 

Phasma pursed her lips and glared at him for several moments before answering his question.

 

He shut down the conversation. That was that.

 

* * *

 

The first time they kissed was clumsy, rushed, yet amazing all the same. 

 

Hux felt his heart open up like it never had done before.

 

* * *

 

**Incoming Message**

I'm bored.

 

**Outgoing Message**

Then do something.

 

**Incoming Message**

Done everything.

 

**Outgoing Message**

Sulk about the ship?

 

**Incoming Message**

I don't do that.

 

**Incoming Message**

I'm still bored.

 

**Outgoing Message**

We have an important meeting in one hour. Please remember to be there.

 

**Outgoing Message**

Ren where are you?

 

**Outgoing Message**

I swear of you're skipping this.

 

**Outgoing Message**

Damnit Ren this meeting is for your benefit.

 

**Outgoing Message**

You were supposed to be at the bridge thirty minutes ago. What has delayed you?

 

**Outgoing Message**

Ren can you please respond?

 

**Outgoing Message**

Kylo.

 

**Incoming Message**

I was meditating in the garden. I left my data pad in my room. It has my schedule. I forgot about the meeting. It must not have been important.

 

**Outgoing Message**

It was important. We've had to reschedule the entire thing for tomorrow. The meeting was about your status report on the scouting mission your Knights were in charge of. 

 

**Incoming Message**

Oh.

 

**Outgoing Message**

You need to keep better track of what is yours. 

 

**Incoming Message**

Oh like you?

 

**Outgoing Message**

Don't be vulgar.

 

**Incoming Message**

It's true isn't it?

 

**Incoming Message**

Right?

 

**Incoming Message**

Right?

 

**Incoming Message**

Hux?

 

**Incoming Message**

Hux?

 

**Incoming Message**

Hux?

 

**Incoming Message**

Hux?

 

**Incoming Message**

Hux?

 

**Incoming Message**

Hux?

 

**Incoming Message**

Hux?

 

**Outgoing Message**

Apologies. Our Supreme Leader requested an impromptu meeting.

 

**Incoming Message**

Oh. What about?

 

**Outgoing Message**

His input on our plan of attack to defeat the Resistance. 

 

**Incoming Message**

You want to be more vague?

 

**O** **utgoing Message**

I don't think it would be wise to discuss the matter over private messages.

 

**Outgoing Message**

Dinner?

 

**Incoming Message**

Sure.

 

* * *

 

Kylo was on top of him, straddling Hux's leg and grinding down for the delicious friction. Hux hadn't done this since he was a teenager. He'd hadn't remembered it feeling so  _ good _ . He felt close to Kylo, but not all at the same time. 

 

Kylo was beautiful like this. His head was tilted backwards, long neck stretched out. His lips were parted,  low moans escaped from his throat that seemed to coincide with every roll of his hips. Kylo was blissful in the moment.

 

Kylo was needy and took everything that was given to him.

 

Hux's eyes widened and gasped when Kylo picked up his pace. Hux wrapped his hands around Kylo's middle and helped propel him as the Force user bounced on his leg. 

 

"Please, please, please," Kylo begged. " _ Please _ . I need… I need to… Can I…?"

 

Hux had no idea what was being asked for. He could make an educated guess. By the looks of it Kylo was very close to tipping over the edge. Was he asking if he could come? Maybe he liked it when his partner was more dominating. 

 

Hux dug his fingers into Kylo's pale flesh. "You've been so good for me," he soothed. He was satisfied when Kylo whined. "So good. Should I let you come? Do you think you deserve it?"

 

Kylo nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, _please_." He finally gazed down at Hux, his hair framing his face. He gripped a handful of Hux's shirt, twisted the cloth. "Fuck Hux. _Please sir_."

 

When he'd said  _ sir _ , Hux thrust upwards to meet Kyo's crotch, coming harder than he had in years.  "Yes, come for me," he gasped huskily.

 

Kylo's whole body shuddered as he rode out his orgasm. White cum soaked through the thin fabric of his pants. 

 

Kylo was perfect. 

 

* * *

 

Sometimes they could spend time together without talking. It was something that had never happened to Hux before. There was always a conversation.  _ Always _ . There was always someone who wanted his attention or someone who he needed to pay attention to him. 

 

There was a time when a stomach virus and a nasty cold was going around the Finalizer like wildfire. Hux had caught both and was forced to let one of his subordinates in charge. 

 

He was coughing and sneezing as he walked back to his suite. He felt like he wanted to die. 

 

He'd been in one hell of a foul mood, but when he walked into his bedroom his heart softened. Kylo, dressed only in a pair of boxers, was hogging most of the bed. Curled around his head was Millie. When Hux came in the room Millicent raised her head in acknowledgement. She blinked several times, yawned, stretched, and went back to sleep.

 

Hux wasn't sure how Kylo had gotten into his room, but for this one time he didn't care. While he'd been getting ready for bed, calloused fingers wrapped around his wrist. Without any sort of ceremony, Kylo used his powers to lift him in mid-air to gently glide him into bed. It wasn't necessary at all, but they were both sick and not thinking clearly. Hux could let that one pass too.

 

Around six months into their arrangement (it wasn't a relationship when neither of them could say the words) Kylo returned from another off-world training with Snoke. There'd been a knock at his door, and Hux answered it.

 

There he was. Bleeding cuts across his face and neck. A bruise was forming around his right eye. Hux noticed that his knuckles were bloody with long stratch marks running along the length of the back of his hand.

 

Kylo's eyes were practically pleading for help. He was so defeated. 

 

Hux dragged Kylo into his suite and set him down into a chair. Hux pulled up the underside of Kylo's shirt and pulled it over his head. There were more cuts and bruises littering his marred chest. 

 

He gathered all of the medical supplies and set them down on the floor in front of Kylo. He used some water to clean all of the wounds. He carefully dabbed a cotton ball with alcohol and ran it across. Hux watched the Knight, hoping he'd say something,  _ anything _ . The whole time Kylo stared at the wall, eyes lifeless and face grim, silent as he'd never been. Kylo didn't even let out a sound as the alcohol was being applied. Hux was sure it stung him. Every so often Kylo would shut his eyes, screwing his face up.

 

Once Hux was finished wrapping Kylo's hands in gauze and applied invisible bandages on his chest and face, Kylo stood, and walking with a slight limp he left without so much as a thanks.

 

Some nights Kylo was brave enough to stay over at Hux's place for the entire night, and not leave until the morning. They would hold each other in the darkness and watch as the stars went by through Hux's window.

 

* * *

 

Hux didn't try to be startled when he saw Kylo on the floor of his living room, tempting Millicent with a feather. It was a sight that greeted him when he retired to his rooms more often than not. He usually let it go, but today was not such a day.

 

"Why are you in my suite?"

 

Kylo titled his head up. "I wanted to play with Millie."

 

"Let me rephrase that.  _ How _ the hell are you in my suite?"

 

Kylo shrugged as his answer.

 

Hux rolled his eyes and sighed with frustration. Typical Kylo. He bent over to take off his boots. "I wanted to find you anyway. Can you explain to me why only this morning you have almost choked an ensign to death, why quite a few Stormtroopers need new uniforms because they have mysterious lightsaber shaped marks, why there's at least ten droids that will need extensive repairs, and why three  rooms are in ruins? And that's what I know of."

 

"I… I…" Kylo's neck turned pink. "I get more angry before my heat. More than usual. It doesn't take much to get me pissed off."

 

Hux stilled. "Are you close to your heat?" 

 

Kylo nodded. "About two days left I think. My cycles are pretty predictable. Usually I go for a week to clinics on whatever habitable planet we're near. Spend them alone and in private." He turned his head so his hair that blocked his profile. "I was wondering if you'd like to share my heat?"

 

Hux's eyes were wide as saucers. He was beyond shocked. He felt like he couldn't breathe. 

 

After a few moments Hux realized that he had been standing there completely silent.

 

"Nevermind. I never asked."

 

"No, no, no, no. It took me off guard. Are you sure?"

 

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

 

"Okay then. Okay. I'd be honored."

 

"Good."

 

* * *

 

The noises that come from Kylo's throat are addicting to hear. Kylo already had a low voice, and when he whimpered and moaned it just became lower. It drove Hux absolutely crazy. Each time he hit Kylo's sweet spot, he'd chew on his lower lip, trying to hold back his pleasure. 

 

He was fucking Kylo against the bathroom door. Kylo's long legs were being supported by Hux's arm strength alone. Kylo's arms wrapped around Hux's neck so tightly it was like he held on for his life. 

 

"Hux?"

 

"Yes?"

 

Kylo turned his head to the side so he wasn't directly looking at Hux. "Can you say you want to breed me?"

 

Hux was taken aback for a moment and stilled. "Do you want to be bred?" Hux waited with bated breath. If that was Kylo's intention then they would have to stop to discuss it.

 

"No. I just… It turns me on. I'm not sure how to explain it."

 

"You don't have to." Hux pulled all the way out so only the tip of his cock remained inside of Kylo. "Are you ready to be bred, Kylo?"

 

In an instant Kylo seemed to melt into Hux's arms. He let out a slow moan. "Yes, sir. Please breed me. Please I want you to fill me up with your cum. I want--"

 

Hux slammed back inside of Kylo all at once. He began a brutal pace, whispering filthy words that he was going to breed Kylo, how he was going to fill him up with so many pups, how well the Omega take his knot.

 

Kylo drank up the praise. He was lost in the moment and continuingly murmured "Yes, yes, yes. Yes, Alpha. Breed me Alpha. Please I need to be bred."

 

" _ Fuck _ ." Hux pushed in as his knot popped, locking the two of them in place. He shivered as he felt himself empty into Kylo's body. He caught his breath and said, "Hold on to me."

 

"No shit." 

 

Carefully Hux maneuvered them to the counter so Kylo could sort of sit on the edge and was able to rest his arms between the sink. 

 

Hux knew Kylo hadn't come so he wrapped his hand around the leaking cock and pumped.

 

"You don't have to do that."

 

Hux raised an eyebrow as he fisted Kylo's cock. He didn't say a word, but after he ran his thumb along the head of Kylo's cock, the Omega gasped and spilled over Hux's fingers.

 

* * *

 

The moment Hux slipped inside, Kylo closed his eyes and moaned. It was so easy to enter the Omega's body. He was a mess of cum and slick from the waist down. All of it helped ease the way.

 

He went slow this time. Kylo didn't seem to mind at all. Slow was good sometimes.

 

Hux intertwined their fingers together, giving him a little bit more stability all the while creating more intimacy between them. The Omega seemed fascinated by this, panting and staring at the small but meaningful connection.

 

He rocked until he came with a Kylo's name on his lips.

 

Hux rested his forehead against Kylo's. For that moment when they shared the same breath, it felt like they were truly one. 

 

Hux kissed a trail down Kylo's neck to his shoulder. He paused for second before biting down near the spot where he would have they were bonding. Kylo gasped, digging his fingers into Hux's back. Kylo thrust upwards as he climaxed once more. 

 

* * *

 

The heat was nearing its end. All Omegas grew tired at this point. Tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. Kylo laid on his stomach, legs spread, and his face resting in arms. His breathing was steady and his body relaxed.

 

Hux took a wet washcloth and ran it over the back of Kylo's thighs, the inside of his legs, and his privates. He wiped away all of the sweat, and the slick, and cum. Kylo was over sensitive at the moment, and some touches caused him to hiss in pain. Hux would apologize, kiss the small of his back, wait for Kylo to give a sign before continuing.

 

"Did you drink the water and food I gave you?" Hux looked over his shoulder to check. The plate of dried fruit and meat had gone untouched, and the bottle of water was still full. He sighed as he set the washcloth into the bowl of water beside the bed. He squatted on the floor by Kylo's head. Hux wiped away the hair from Kylo's sweaty brow that had stuck against his skin. Kylo  "Hey, you okay?"

 

Kylo nodded languidly. "Tired." His voice was very hoarse. 

 

"Sit up for me?" Hux coaxed Kylo to move despite the protests. He was able to get Kylo to drink two bottles of water, and ended up mostly hand feeding him the fruits and meat.

 

Hux used a damp cloth to clean Kylo's face, chest and arms as he ate. He dumped the dirty water into the bathroom sink, and threw the cloth in the laundry basket.

 

Kylo was still lying there practically boneless and fucked out of his mind.

 

"Come on, up here," he said. Hux sat up against the headboard, Kylo rested his head against the crook of his neck. Hux laid his chin of top of Kylo's head, caressing his dark hair. Once he was satisfied that Kylo was asleep, Hux held him tight, close to his body as possible.

 

* * *

 

Hux thought that after the heat things would change. He thought it would be more awkward between them. Kylo was a private person, so he might regret someone seeing him so vulnerable, even though Kylo had asked Hux to join him.

 

Hux worried that Kylo would push him away. Then they'd both be alone again.

 

Nothing like that changed. They still spent their spare time together. They'd sit together during meal times. Kylo would come over and meditate while Hux finished the day's reports. Hux adjusted his schedule to coincide with Kylo's as much as possible. 

 

They still fought. Nothing could ever change that it seemed. It was over stupid things like who was the one who left out Millicent's toys which Hux slipped on, or who knew the correct lyrics to a song neither of them really knew the words to. They fought about ideals and methods. They fought about military tactics and objectives.

 

Hux gave Kylo the passcode to his suite including the override for the fingerprint reader, and Kylo did the same in return. Slowly, more and more of Kylo's things wound up in Hux's suite. Some clothes, a model of an legacy TIE Fighter, reading materials on fighting styles. 

 

(It was hard for people to ignore their arrangement when it took over a week Hux's scent to rub off Kylo's skin after the heat. The Alpha in Hux was proud of this.)

 

Kylo smiled more. Oh, Kylo had the most beautiful smile. He'd try to hide it behind his gloved hand, but it was impossible to miss. It was a big smile and his hand barely covered the corners of his mouth turned upwards. His eyes seemed to sparkle with the light that had been missing all along.

 

Kylo spending the night became a recurrence. Hux found that when Kylo slept in his bed, his head buried in Hux's shoulder, and his legs draped over Hux's waist, completely invading his space, that Hux never slept so well in his entire life.

 

* * *

 

"Did you get the transfer?"

 

Breana nodded. "Hit the account this morning. You're not giving us all of your credits  are you?"

 

Hux shrugged one shoulder. "Bre, I'm fine, it's fine. You need the credits more than I do."

 

" _ Armitage _ ," she scolded. "You need to take care of yourself."

 

"I do,  _ Breana _ . I do. You don't need to worry about me." 

 

Sometimes calls with his family could be annoying. Bre was the oldest at forty years old, and had always felt the need to play mother hen. Hux was thirty-four years old, but Breanna could make him feel like a small child. 

 

He was sitting up on his bed, legs criss-crossed. He was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms and one of Kylo's training shirts. He held his personal data pad in the palm of his right hand. Hux shifted so he sat more straight. It made him look better for the camera. 

 

"How are you? How's Brennan and Brehanna?"

 

"Shifting the topic for legitimate reasons. Clever, clever. I'm doing alright. Nothing new for me. Hanna's spending the night at a friend's, and Bren is sleeping." His sister's voice was light, but her face was full of concern. "Hanna passed the entrance exams for the academy."

 

"That's great. That's fantastic! Why don't you seem happy?"

 

"I'm happy for her. It'll be a great opportunity to hone her art… but she's changed her mind. She says she doesn't want to go anymore."

 

"What? Why?"

 

"Honestly I think because her girlfriend is going somewhere else. Oh, it's not Tessa. They broke up two months ago. It's Hanna's new girlfriend, Amabel. Beta, really good at military history. You'd probably like her. But yeah… Hanna wants to go to school with Amabel. It's too late to take that school's exam, so she wants to take a gap year. The academy will still let students in up to a year when they get accepted. Who knows? Maybe a break will do good for her… Our Bren…"

 

Hux braced himself. "What about Bren?"

 

Breana sighed, "He's still mad at you. Hates it when you get brought up." She shrugged, lifting her left hand in the air. She seemed to be sympathetic. "He's trying to wrap his head around it all."

 

"I wouldn't take it back," he said matter of factly.

 

"I know. Hold on." The camera jolted around and then Hux was greeted with the view of the ceiling. Breana was walking around the house. She opened and closed a door, and as she walked away she began to talk again.

 

"I took Bren to the hospital yesterday. His heart's acting up again. It was running too fast. The medicine they had given him didn't work. The doctors have him wearing one of those halters to monitor his heart for a few days. Hopefully they'll figure it out and tweak his medication."

 

"Shit," Hux cursed. "Shit. I could… I should come back--"   
  


"Oh don't you dare, Armitage. The FO needs you there. We can manage--"

 

"You shouldn't have to manage, Bre! You deserved more than that!"

 

"It's all we have!" his sister fired back. Her face filled the screen once more. "It's all we have and we're  _ fine _ . Mom and dad aren't here so it's up to the two of us to look after Hanna and Bren. We're both doing all we can. Just let it go. Fuck." Breana blew out a puff of air. "How are you? Don't change the topic this time."

 

"I'm-- oh!" Millie meowed and jumped up onto the bed. She hopped up onto his stomach, circled for couple times, before settling down with her paws and tail tucked underneath her. "Say hello to Millie." Hux pressed the icon of an arrow within a circle to flip the camera around and faced it so his sister could see his cat.

 

His sister's anger evaporated immediately. "Awwww! Hey Mills!" Bre clicked her tongue to try and get the cat's attention. "Hey Mills look at me!" 

 

Hux flipped the camera back around. "She really loves that toy spider you sent. It's all she plays with now. Kylo likes to tease her with it."

 

Breana hummed thoughtfully. "Kylo huh?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Kylo Ren?"

 

"Yes," he replied slowly as if she needed it said again because he spoke too fast. 

 

"You mention him a lot. Scratch that. All the time."

 

"I do not!"

 

"Oh yes you do. You always seem to sneak him. Like you happen to mention that he plays with Mills. Did we know that Kylo hates green vegetables like Hanna? Kylo this and Kylo that. Is there something you want to tell me Armitage? Who is he to you?"

 

Hux felt a flush going down from his ears to his chest. His gaze turned away from the camera. "I don't-- He-- We're--"

 

"Shit," Bre interrupted his flustered speech. "I have get ready for the last shift. Piece of advice little brother? Maybe figure out what you want from him? What does he mean to you? You know figuring out adult feelings? Don't string him along. No one deserves that." Without another word, Bre ended the call, and Hux found himself staring at his screen saver.

 

Not a moment later the front door opened and closed. Kylo hesitated at the doorway for a moment. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was cherry red. Had he been crying? Why? Silently Kylo crossed the room to their bed, pulled back the covers and slid into the place he'd carved out for himself against Hux.

 

_ Maybe figure out what you want from him? What does he mean to you? _

 

Hux knew. Hux knew exactly what Kylo was to him. He just didn't want to say it out loud. If he did, it wouldn't be true. Hux had opened up his heart to Kylo, and it scared the hell out of him.

 

Hux drew Kylo closer and kissed his dark hair.

 

* * *

 

Snoke held Kylo's head up with his long warped fingers. Kylo hissed as he was dragged across the floor by his scalp. He tried to stop by scraping the bottom of his boots against the polished floor to no avail.

 

Hux made to move, but found himself stuck. He couldn't even lift a single finger. Hux couldn't even make a sound.  He wanted revenge for the treatment Kylo was receiving. All he wanted to do was rush to the Supreme Leader and stab him with one of the guard's spears over and over until his heart no longer beat, and then stab him again for good measure.

 

Snoke let go of Kylo's hair when he reached his throne. The Knight was made to kneel down before him.

 

"You've been a disappointment to me Kylo. An embarrassment. When I found you, you were nothing. A child with so much potential . I  _ made  _ you." Snoke circled his apprentice like an animal would its prey. "I think this is the day I make you cry," he stated wickedly.

 

"Do you know why I am not pleased, Kylo? Hm? Would you like to take a guess?" Snoke lifted Kylo's head upwards so the two of them were face to face. "You had a clear shot and yet you didn't take it. To add insult to injury, you  _ shielded _ her. You protected her from our onslaught. You failed to kill General Organa. You failed me."

 

Hux furrowed his brow. Why would have Kylo done that? It made no sense. 

 

"Family? Is that what you want? You killed Han Solo, but couldn't let Ben Solo's mother die? I thought you knew better than that.  You have to kill your past. You have to let your mother die. Attachments are a weakness. You're already weak because you're an Omega. You're weak because you're  _ exactly _ like your father. You cannot afford to fail."

 

A breath caught in Hux's throat.

 

Kylo,..

 

Kylo was Ben Solo.

 

**_Kylo Ren was Ben Solo_ ** .

 

Kylo met Hux's eyes. Tears were forming in the corners of Kylo's. Desperation, guilt, and regret. He was always too easy to read. 

 

Fuck it was true.

 

"Oh look," Snoke mused. "I made you cry." He laughed so loud it vibrated around the room. "Kylo, you shall go on an indefinite mission for me. You'll leave in the morning. Additional instructions will be on your data pad. You General, I have no use for you at the present time." With that the guards literally threw Kylo and Hux out.

 

The air was tense. Hux's anger was about to boil over. He was shaking, clenching his fists so he wouldn't do something completely stupid. Kylo just stood there, staring blankly at the wall.

 

"Is it true?" Kylo didn't answer him which made Hux all the more. "Is it true?

Are you Ben Solo!?" he screamed.

 

Kylo's silence spoke volumes.

 

"You told me you  _ killed _ him."

 

"I did! I have!"

 

Hux rushed forward and pinned Kylo-- Ben to the wall. "You lied to me! This whole fucking time you lied to my face," he spat. "I let you into my life, my home, my  _ bed _ , and you've been lying this whole time! How could you do this? You're a liar, and a  _ whore _ . You are what everyone says you are."

 

Kylo roared and rushed Hux, pinning him to the opposite wall. He gripped the stiff collar of Hux's uniform. "How  _ dare _ you say that. I have worked so hard for all of this. For my whole life I have had to work ten times as hard at everything I do because I'm an Omega. Because I'm expected to be some sort of weak, dainty, useless Omega who is only good for having children. I sacrificed everything, and got here by my own strength. I'm not some tramp that spread their legs and fucked their way to the top. I  _ earned _ this."

 

"How can I ever trust you when you lied to me about something so trivial as  _ your name _ ?" Hux circled back.

 

"Because it's not my name! Ben Solo is  _ dead _ . He's gone! I thought  _ you'd _ understand. I thought I knew you!"

 

"Of course you know me. You know everything about me, about  _ everyone! _ You get inside people's minds like it's second nature--"

 

"I haven't read your mind since that day on the Supremacy!" 

 

Hux shook his head. "You're lying to me again."

 

"I'm not lying goddamnit!" Kylo cursed. "Why do you think you were there? Huh? There was no reason for you to see my punishment. Didn't you think about that with that big brain? Snoke wants to separate us! He wants to pit us against each other. He wants to hate each--!"

 

"Maybe it's for the best!"

 

Kylo let go of his grip on Hux's collar, his arms falling to his sides. "You don't mean that… You can't... Hux please… I love you…" Kylo choked out a sob. He was having some difficulty breathing as his emotions took over and was openly cried. "I thought you loved me…"

 

"That was your mistake." Hux turned away and didn't look back. When he turned the corner, he heard a blood curdling scream and the ear cringing screeching of metal being torn apart.

 

* * *

 

It didn't hit him until later when he was level headed how horridness his words were.

 

It was too late to reconcile. Kylo Ren was long gone.

 

It felt like a large piece of himself was missing.

 

* * *

 

"How long has it been since you slept?"

 

Hux choose to ignore his friend and reread the same damn sentence he'd been trying to get through in a report. She knew the answer, and it didn't need to be stated out loud. In the past one-hundred and twenty hours Hux had slept for a total of six hours. At this point he was surviving solely on caf. If things were starting to blur together and not make much sense, but Hux would never admit to it

 

Phasma didn't try to hide her sigh of frustration. "Burying yourself in work isn't going to bring him back from his assignment any faster."

 

"I am well aware of that." That wasn't why he was doing it. 

 

"I'm not going to pretend that I know what happened between the two of you because I don't. I don't know why Ren has fled off-world for an unscheduled visit for an undetermined amount of time. I don't know why you've practically become a husk. I don't have to be a genius to put two and two together that something bad happened between the two of you. I'm your friend and your scaring the shit out of me. I wish… I… Hux, look at me.  _ Look at me _ . Did you ever tell him? Did you tell him how you feel about him?"

 

Tentatively, he raised his head to meet Phasma's pitiful gaze. "No," the single word was one of the hardest he ever had to say. "I never did."

 

He felt so stupid and foolish for not admitting it before, and for lying to Kylo to his face. Hux had always been afraid to say it out loud. He had thought he wouldn't have been able to handle the rejection.

 

It was so cliché and that made Hux feel even worse.

 

* * *

 

He waited in the hangar as the Upsilon-class shuttle landed. He'd been waiting quite a long time from being informed the ship was arriving. Of course Kylo Ren was the last off the ship. Their eyes locked across the way. Hux gulped. He'd prepared for this moment in his head, but now that it was happening Hux found himself afraid.

 

"Ren? A word?" He cocked his head to the side and walked away. Hux hoped that he'd come along.

 

Kylo followed. 

 

He took them to an enclosed deck observing the work in the hangar similar to the one on Snoke's ship. Hux only stopped when he heard Kylo come to a halt. Hux turned around to face him. Kylo stood there, rooted to his spot waiting for Hux to say his peace.

 

Hux took a deep inhale, and a deep exhale. "I made a mistake."

 

"You think?" Kylo deadpanned.

 

"You had…  _ have  _ every right not to tell me something. It's your life, you can share it at your discretion. Everyone has secrets that they don't have to share. I should have respected that. I can't take back what I said. It's too late for that."

 

"I can't forgive you."

 

"I know. I'm not asking for that." He clenched and unclenched  his fists. "There's things that I never told you. Things I should have. If this relationship is going to work we both need to be more open."

 

"Is that what this is?" Kylo asked skeptically. "A relationship?"

 

"Maybe? I would hope it could be." Hux took a step forward. "I should have told you months ago. I was stupid, and selfish." He took another step. "I  _ care _ for you, Kylo. More than that. What you said the last time we saw each other that you told me you loved me." He made sure he was met Kylo's eyes as he spoke. He needed Kylo to know he was telling the truth. "I was angry in that moment and wanted to hurt you. How you feel about me, that's how I feel about you." Hux took yet another step. Now he was only a couple feet away. "I love you, and I hope you'll take me back, even though I don't deserve it."

 

Kylo sucked in a breath. He raked his eyes over Hux's face, analyzing it. He was completely gobsmacked. 

 

"Besides," Hux said with a smile on his face. "Millicent has missed you."

 

Kylo angled his face away, but Hux could clearly see the upturned corners of his mouth. "Yeah?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Kylo held up a finger. "I have some stipulations. I'm a not a whore. Just because we climbed different paths to get to the top doesn't mean my way is any less valid. If you ever call me that again or hint that I prostituted myself to get to my position as Snoke's apprentice, we're done. No negotiations. No second chances. I refuse to deal with that."

 

"I wouldn't want you to deal with it. That's more than fair."

 

Kylo spoke slowly, thinking over this words as he talked. "I would be amenable to try again."

 

Hux framed Kylo's face with his hands. He thumbed some of the messy hair. He searched Kylo's expressive eyes.

 

Hope. He was filled with hope.

 

"I'd like to try again too."

 

Kylo leaned forward and captured his lips with small kiss. Hux returned it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for sticking around and reading this story. Kudos and comments are love. Follow me on [Tumblr](http://mm8fic.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/MahmficMm8?lang=en) if you'd like.
> 
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